(Bay Rang Peyya By Amjad Javeed)
Abdul Hnnan Ch
Aayat was transferred from ICU to a private room. She had covered herself in a blanket. Her eyes were shut but she was conscious. The side table was full of flowers. She was alone in the room but after a while Tahir came in the room. She opened her eyes. Tahir tried to say something but Aayat interrupted him and said, “Does Sarmad know about my condition?”
Tahir remained silent for a while and then said, “I`m not sure. The news was telecasted on media. Rabia might have watched the news and told Sarmad.”
Aayat said worriedly, “Ask her at once.”
Tahir said, “Ok, I have your cell phone. I shall call her now.”
He took Aayat`s mobile out of his pocket and dialed Rabia`s number. He put the phone at Aayat`s ear. Rabia asked, “How are you?”
Aayat replied, “I`m fine. Does Sarmad know about the incident?”
Rabia said, “No, I didn`t let him know.”
Aayat was calm and relaxed. After a moment she said, “Tahir will tell you everything in detail.”
She handed over her mobile to Tahir. He told Rabia the details of the accident. Then he disconnected the line and put the mobile I his pocket. Aayat asked, “How is your election campaign going on?”
“Everything is fine but ________,” Tahir was going to say something but he stopped.
She looked at Tahir`s face and asked, “You are trying to hide something.”
“I can`t hide anything from you. I can`t tell a lie with you,” he said.
He said, “I`m fed up of the politics. I don`t want to be a part of it.”
Aayat tried to make him understand, “Don`t try to run away. Try to handle the situation. It is matter of a few days. You have to be victorious for your father. After that you will be free to do whatever you want.”
Tahir said, “Yes, you’re right. Dadu has come to know about you. He called me. I have told him in detail.”
She said, “Say him not to come here.”
“I`m informing him about your condition after every hour or two. I have requested him not to come here. But I can`t say what he will decide,” said Tahir.
Tahir and Aayat were silent. Tahir wanted to say many things but couldn`t. Aayat was trying to gather appropriate words to encourage him. There was a slight knock at the door. Tahir looked at the door and said, “Baba!”
Sikandar Hayat came in. He came near Aayat`s bed, put his hand on her head and asked, “How are you, daughter?”
Aayat smiled and said, “I`m fine.”
“Tahir is my only son. You saved his life. I shall never forget your favour. The enemies tried their best but only Allah can save us. I called you to tell that there are life threats for Tahir and you. I talked with Tahir about it but I wanted to inform you too.”
“You could have told Tahir,” Aayat said. He said quickly, “I had doubt before but after that incident I decided not to go in front of you before confirming who the planner of that attack was.”
Aayat asked, “Who are they?”
Sikandar Hayat said, “The girl Jaweria who wants to marry Tahir is behind that conspiracy. The shooters are arrested. They have told her name. Now, they are trying to have deals with us to save their daughter.”
Aayat listened the whole detail but didn`t commented.
Sikandar Hayat said, “I`m really sorry that I couldn`t protect you.”
She said calmly, “It was due to happen. Don`t say like that. Please, take care of election campaign.”
“I`m grateful to you. Get well soon. I shall see the election,” Sikandar Hayat said and went out of the room. Tahir was sitting there. There was complete silence between them. Aayat was feeling dizzy. She wanted to say Tahir something but couldn`t. She said with a great difficulty, “Tahir, you have to win.”
It happens that the expressions become more powerful than the words. There were so much meanings in her small sentence that Tahir kept on watching her with his wide open eyes but Aayat shut her eyes.
When she opened her eyes again it was evening. Dadu was sitting there. He ran towards her bed when he saw she was looking at her. Aayat said, “Please, scold me. I have not been scolded by you for many days.”
Dadu put his hand on her head and said, “Nobody tries to kill itself. It was in your fate. How are you now?”
Aayat said, “I`m alright but doctors are not allowing me to go. Please, say them to discharge me.”
“I have talked with doctors. You have to stay there for two more days,” Dadu tried to make her understand.
She said stubbornly, “No, I have to go.”
“You are getting treatment here why do you want to go home?” Dadu asked.
“You will stay there for the whole day and you will be tired,” she said.
“We are going home today. I shall not stay there. I am going to talk to doctor. All the arrangements can be done at home,” Dadu said.
“That`s good,” Aayat said and shut her eyes calmly because she was sure that till she is not healthier enough to go Lahore, Dadu will stay with her in Bhawalpur.
Tahir was walking in corridor of his native house. That part of his native house was called men`s area. Women`s area was quiet away from it. Even the sound of ceremonies held here couldn’t reach there. The evening was turning itself into night. The counting had started in constituency. He was not aware of the results. His workers were doing all that stuff. He was not even thinking about the election. He was thinking only about Aayat. The day when his baba met Aayat in the hospital, she took promise that he would not meet her before the result was not announced. He would focus on his campaign. He had no concern about the victory or lost. At first he didn`t accept it. But when Aayat took promise he was helpless. He had every information about her. When was she shifted to her house in Bhawalpur? Which doctor was treating her? Which nurse does stay with her? There were many people who were taking care of her. His mother had shifted with her. Her two maids were taking care of Aayat. She was getting healthier day by day. Dadu stayed with her for two day and then went to Lahore. He knew everything but he could not go to meet her. Few hours were left. Tahir was analysing himself either he was eager to know the election result or to meet Aayat. The answer was he wanted to meet Aayat as soon as possible. Meanwhile his cell phone rang. Sajjid`s name was blinking on the screen. He attended the call. Sajjid was quite emotional. He said, “We are winning with a decisive lead on the both seats.”
Tahir asked without any interest, “When shall we get the final result?”
Sajjid told him, “We have most of the results of the both constituencies but it will take time to get the final result.”
Tahir said anxiously, “It can`t be done early.”
Sajjid said surprisingly, “You are not contesting the election for the first time. Why are you so impatient for the result?”
He said quickly, “This election is just like that I`m contesting for the first time.”
“I`m understanding your situation but you have to wait for some time,” he said in a low voice.
“You can`t understand my situation,” Tahir said to himself after disconnecting the line.
He went towards the lawn. There was complete silence in that part of the house. His father was at dera. All the servants were also busy in different activities. He was sitting alone in the lawn. He was thinking about Aayat. Aayat met him on the same day when he received Jaweria`s proposal via Sajjid and Munib. If he didn`t meet, he would have married Jaweria. Aayat didn`t impress him on that day. She wasn`t beautiful. Her personality was in-attractive. She was an ordinary girl but she had left her impression on his mind that he couldn`t forget her. He hadn`t even thought that he would become so ecstatic about her. He analysed himself again and again; if she wasn`t a successful business woman, he would have felt her so near to her heart. The answer was; she had a place in his life not because of her wealth but due to her character. She was on a standard of character where he had never seen anybody. Tahir`s surroundings were like that; where everything was judged on its appearance. The humans were given respect according to their wealth and power. After the passage of time, another aspect of Aayat`s personality emerged. That was a very attractive aspect. Tahir reached to a new world. He realised that the emotions like truthfulness, sincerity and sacrifice were very important in life. These emotions can lead a person to the standard of humanity. He didn`t realise how and when did his behaviour towards life change? The emotion of likeness reached at wish of relationship. What was that power that changed a long journey into a short passage? The wishes are the base of dreams. It is not prohibited to have a wish or dream about something. The only hurdle to achieve your goal is your thinking. If the thinking is positive these wishes and dreams can create a new world. The human wants to create a world of his choice but the nature has created the world for him. There is pulling and hauling between the world made by the nature and the world of dreams. The game of conquering and being conquered is going on. That game had left long lasting effects on the human behaviours.
Tahir had decided many things on his own. He had decided that he would marry Aayat only. He had told Aayat about that decision. He had claimed that he was a passionate (aashiq). At first, his pride of being a wealthy man and his status was behind his wish. But he realised that Aayat had no value or importance for these things. Why was it? When he tried to seek the answer, the new doors of Aayat`s personality were opened. He found himself in a new world. The colours of life on which he was so proud had lost their value. He separated himself from these colours. He wished to dye himself into Aayat`s colours.
Sajjid`s call brought him out of the world of thoughts. He attended the phone and asked, “Yes, what happened?”
Sajjid congratulated him for winning both the seats. He asked him to come to dera. Tahir said, “Ok, I`m coming.”
Sajjid was surprised, “You are not happy to hear such a big news.”
He said quickly, “I`m happy.”
Sajjid asked about his way of talking. He said, “I`m coming” and disconnected the phone to avoid further questions. He walked quickly towards his car and drove it quickly towards Aayat`s house. He reached Aayat`s home in half an hour. Guard opened the gate. He stopped the car in porch and went towards lounge. Nobody was there. Before he extended his search to other rooms of the house he was told by the guard that Aayat had gone Lahore. Tahir was worried. He asked, “Aayat has gone. Why did she go? Where is Mom?”
The servant was nervous to hear so many questions at a time. He answered in a gentle way, “Miss Aayat went Lahore this evening. Driver dropped her on the airport. She called your mother when she reached Lahore. Your mother went to her house after that.”
He was stunned to hear that. He couldn`t understand why did Aayat suddenly go Lahore? Why did she not inform him before leaving? He was not able to understand anything. He took out his cell phone. It was on silent mood. He missed many calls. Even then a number was blinking on the screen. He disconnected that call and dialed Aayat`s number. Her number was turned off. He was confused. He didn`t know what to do. He fell in a sofa in depression.
It was morning. The sunlight was peeping through the window pans. It was a bright sunny day. The chirping of bird was giving the news of a new day. A white bulb was on in the room. She was sitting on a prayer mat in the dim light of the bulb. She had covered her body with a white piece of cloth. She was busy in meditation whole heartedly. Her sincerity was evident from her facial expressions. She stood up after some time, folded the prayer mat and put it on a side table. She couldn`t go for a usual walk because of her injury so she came out of her room to have a stroll in the lawn. She passed through the lounge and porch. Dadu was not there in the lawn or corridor. She was looking for a servant while thinking about Dadu. She looked at the gate where a car stopped. The guard looked out and opened the gate. Tahir`s car entered through the gate. She took a deep breath and sat in a chair in the corridor. Tahir stopped the car in porch and walked towards Aayat. He greeted her and sat in a chair. He was looking angry, worried and sympatric in one time. He asked, “Why did you come here?”
Aayat smiled at him and said, “I went Bhawalpur for a purpose. When you won the election I came back.”
He asked surprisingly, “You came back without informing me.”
“Why are you so surprised?” asked Aayat.
“You didn`t even wait for the result. You should have not travel in this condition,” he said like that Aayat had committed a big mistake.
“Congratulation!” said Aayat.
“That is not my success,” he busted with anger.
“Don`t say like that. Many people have hope that you will work from them. Allah has given you a chance to serve the people,” she tried to make him understand.
“I don`t want such success that keeps me away from my friends and family. How can you justify your behaviour? I was waiting to meet you. You should have stopped for me. Why were you in such a hurry?” he complained again.
She said calmly, “I came back to give you a message that I have fulfilled my promise. I`m not bound to fulfill your other wishes.”
“I don`t understand,” he asked in astonishment and anxiety, “I shall keep relation with you either you accept it or not.”
“This relation ____________,” she was going to say something but stopped, “leave that topic. Go and get fresh then we shall take breakfast.”
He said stubbornly, “This is not answer of my question.”
“Let`s have breakfast. We can talk after it,” Aayat said in a low voice.
He said, “I shall not go anywhere till you will not satisfy me. Why are you not understanding my condition? Every second till result I waited for you. You asked me not to meet you before result, I accepted it. But after election you came back Lahore even without informing me. You might have remained bound of your saying.”
She said angrily, “I didn`t think it was important.”
He looked at her in a way that he couldn`t understand anything. He wanted to talk but he saw Dadu coming towards them. Dadu was surprised but happy to see him. He said, “Tahir, what a pleasant surprise. Is everything alright?”
Tahir greeted him and said, “Yes, everything is fine.”
Dadu looked at him keenly and said, “You must have been in Bhawalpur. I think you have travelled for the whole night.”
Tahir said, “Aayat came back Lahore without informing. I was worried about her.”
Dadu laughed out loud, “It means that you don`t understand Aayat till now.”
Dadu took him inside that he might get fresh. Aayat kept on seeing them calmly. She knew that storms raising inside him. He must be agitated at her behaviour. He was not thinking about his victory. He was just like ways in a sea which strike with the cliffy shore and go back to the sea. They are smashed hard by the cliffs on shore but they go back again to the same shore. She was calm like the middle of the sea. Aayat had passed through these kind of situations. She was aware that when passion (ishq) enters the mind, a war begins. Its flames come out from the inner side. The introduction of the passion changes the point of view of a person. A new world of observations emerges. When a human sees a new thing, he is astonished. He think about it how it has happened. He tries to explore it. He becomes anxious. Same applies on the inner conscience of a human. When passion (ishq) enters in a human the total environment of the conscience is changed. The rise of different state of mind and the changes in the way have thinking varies his point of view about the life. He tries to understand it but confuses himself rather more. Sometimes, he reaches to a conclusion. A new kind of world of thoughts is populated in himself. When he opens the inner doors of observations, a world of astonishment comes in front of him. All the things hidden behind a fog come in front of him. He watches them consciously or unconsciously. The passion reveals all the secrets.
She was understanding Tahir`s emotional condition. The passion had entered in his conscience but there was lot of garbage like palaces of ego, gardens of wishes, crops of ambitions, weather of status, atmosphere of selfishness, trees of richness, fields of greed and hills of hatred were still rooted deep in him. The passion wants a world of silence. The passionate (aashiq) has everything but it doesn`t mean anything for him. He has an aim in his eyes. That is the point when the lover becomes the beloved. The secrets of humanity reveals on him. The passion has entered in Tahir`s conscience. He was in panic. She knew how she could take care of him.
Dadu was also present at the breakfast. He was talking about the different aspects of Tahir`s success. Political matters were also discussed. Aayat left the table. Tahir couldn`t talk with her. After breakfast he tried to meet her. He saw her in the lawn and lounge but she was not there. A servant came to him and said that his room was ready, he could take rest there. Tahir asked, “Who told you to prepare room for me?”
He answered, “Aayat Bibi.”
Tahir asked, “Where is she?”
He told that she had gone farm house.
Tahir asked anxiously, “Did she say something else?”
He told that she had left a message for you. Tahir asked, “What?”
He said, “Take some rest before going. If you want to go immediately, take driver with you.”
Tahir was stunned. He couldn`t understand Aayat`s behaviour. He was thinking either to go to the farm house or wait for her there. He was not able to decide. He had a firm belief that Aayat didn`t want to talk to him. If he went after her she wouldn`t talk. It was very difficult to meet her. He was lost in his thinking. He didn`t realise that the servant was waiting for his answer. He took a deep breath and said, “Call the driver, I have to go back.”
The servant went inside the home. Tahir was deeply depressed.
The hustle and bustle at Sardar Sikandar Hayat`s house and dera had come back. The jubilation for winning election was over. It was decided to keep M.N.A. seat. Talk of the town was who will contest for M.P.A. in the bye elections. The political circles were discussing who will win Sardar Sikandar`s support for the bye election. It was sure that Sardar Sikandar`s candidate would win the election, so political persons were trying to come near him. Sardar Sikandar`s all wishes had come true. He was very happy. He had thought about his future plans. But he had thought about many things which were not related to the politics.
Sardar Sikandar and his wife Balqees Begum were sitting in the round room. They had decided to talk with Tahir. They called Tahir but he was busy with some people who came from Islam Abad. When they came to know that he was coming towards home, they sat together and were waiting for him. After few minutes Tahir entered the round room. He greeted them and sat in a sofa. Sardar Sikandar said, “I accept that it was my mistake to force you to marry Jaweria. I looked that matter politically and ignored your emotions.”
Tahir said obediently, “It`s ok Baba. The time had decided her fate. There is no need to talk about the past.”
Sardar Sikandar smiled a bit and said, “We have taken a decision about your marriage. Your mother and I are agreed but we want your opinion.”
Tahir said, “What kind of opinion?”
He said, “If you like somebody, tell us, otherwise we should take a decision.”
Tahir looked at his mother. She said seriously, “We are your parents. We shall not take any decision which is not good for you. I felt Aayat un Nisa`s love for you. There is no doubt about her love because she was ready to sacrifice her life for you. We are sure, you also like her. May we talk with her grandfather?”
Tahir said obediently, “You can talk Aayat`s grandfather but if they reject our proposal, you may not make it an ego problem. We have to do whatever they want.”
Sikandar started thinking but Tahir`s mother said, “Why will they reject our proposal?”
Sikandar Hayat said, “Tell us the real story.”
Tahir said, “I don`t know but I`m not telling a lie.”
“Is there a misunderstanding between Aayat and you?” asked Sikandar.
Tahir told them that there was no need to worry. He asked when they would go. Sikandar told him that they were going Lahore on next flight in the evening.”
“Ok, fine,” he said.
“May we talk?” his mother asked.
“You have decides then go ahead,” he answered.
Baba and Amaan were looking at him as they couldn`t understand his behaviour. Meanwhile Tahir`s phone rang. He looked at the phone screen and asked Baba, “Anything else? I have to go now.”
Baba allowed him to go. He left the room. Balqees Begum asked Baba anxiously, “Did you noticed his behaviour? There is something which he is hiding from us.”
“You are right but circumstances are evident of opposite of it,” Baba answered.
“What is your opinion now?” she asked.
He thought for a while and said, “We should go there. If there is something, we shall be aware of it.”
She stood up and said, “As you wish.” Sardar Sikandar started to think again.
The evening was saying goodbye and night was arriving when they reached Aayat`s home. Dadu was waiting for them. They sat in the lounge. They were busy in talking when Balqees Begum asked, “Where is Aayat?”
“She is in a meeting. She will be there after some time,” Dadu smiled.
Sikandar Hayat commented, “Aayat is a courageous girl. She holds such a vast business.”
Dadu told that he didn`t trust her in the beginning but when she held her business successfully, I handed her over my business too.
Balqees Begum asked with astonishment, “How does she handle it?”
Dadu answered, “She knows better. She has an amazing power.”
Dadu invited them to take dinner. Balqees begum insisted that they would have dinner after Aayat would come. Dadu said, “I know she will be late.”
Sikandar Hayat said seriously, “Let`s wait for her. Meanwhile I want to discuss an important matter with you.”
Dadu asked, “What kind of matter?”
Balqees Begum answered, “We have come here to discuss it.”
Dadu said, “Please say, I am listening.”
“I don`t want to waste your time. I shall not go in detail. We came here with a proposal. We want to request to marry Aayat with our son Tahir.”
“When she was injured while saving Tahir, I was expecting that proposal but __________,” Dadu said.
Sikandar Hayat asked quickly, “But?”
Dadu said calmly, “I have no objection but I have to ask Aayat.”
Sikandar Hayat said, “It is essential because they have to lead life. They will decide how they want to spend their life.”
Balqees Begum said, “Call Aayat and tell her about our arrival.”
Dadu told her that he had already informed her. She would be there soon. Dadu and Sikandar Hayat started talking about election and current political situation. After some time, Aayat came in the lounge. She greeted and said, “Sorry, I am late. There was an important meeting.” She sat with Balqees Begum. Dadu said, “Let`s have dinner.”
Sikandar Hayat and Balqees Begum went after dinner. Aayat was tired and went to bed. Next morning, when she reached in the lawn for a walk Dadu was already there. He saw Aayat coming and said, “It is pleasant today.”
Aayat said, “Dadu, the season is changing.”
“Yes, now the season have to change,” said Dadu.
Aayat understood what Dadu was trying to say. Dadu asked if she knew why Tahir`s parents came last night. Aayat asked, “Why did they come?”
“They talked about your marriage with Tahir,” Dadu told.
“What was your answer?” asked Aayat.
“I said that I would ask you first,” said Dadu. Dadu was assuming that Aayat would agree to marry Tahir. Aayat smiled and asked, “Do you think that they are not greedy?”
Dadu answered, “No, not at all.”
She asked, “How can you say that?”
He answered, “They are impressed by your personality.”
She said, “It is human nature that they bow in front of the powerful.”
He asked, “What is your decision?”
“What can I say? Time will decide,” Aayat laughed meaningfully.
“I can`t understand,” Dadu asked anxiously.
“Dadu, I shall tell you in few days. You don`t worry,” Aayat answered.
Dadu wasn`t expecting such answer. He was thinking Aayat will accept that proposal immediately. He said after remaining silent for a while, “You have to take that proposal seriously.”
She said, “I am serious. I shall tell you in few days.” Dadu couldn`t say anything. He walked towards home.
It was a bright day. Aayat found Tahir sitting in a sofa when she reached office. He stood up when he saw Aayat. Aayat went near him and asked, “What are you doing here?”
He said, “I was waiting for you.”
“You must have called me. You could have come home. Why are you sitting here like strangers?” she said.
“I have to talk with you,” he said.
“Let`s sit in office and talk,” Aayat suggested.
He said quickly, “Not in the office, we have to go to a peaceful place.”
Aayat said, “Ok, let`s go to your house.”
Tahir was surprised to hear that. They went to parking and sat in Tahir`s car. They didn`t talk during their journey. Aayat broke the silence, “How is atmosphere after election?”
Tahir answered, “I have no concern with it. Baba is dealing political matters.”
She asked, “You have two seats, which one will you keep?”
Tahir said as he didn`t want talk on that topic, “Which one Baba will say.”
But Aayat wanted to talk. So, she inquired, “Any guess?”
He answered carelessly, “Baba has decided to keep M.N.A. seat.”
She thought that Tahir had no interest in politics. She had judged his intentions. They sat in a sofa after reaching Tahir`s home. He asked his servant to bring tea. Aayat asked, “Why are you behaving like strangers?”
Tahir said, “I can`t understand what should I do. I am confused. I`m always thinking about you and me. I am unable to understand your behaviour. In one instant you almost sacrificed your life for me and on the other moment you came back Lahore like a stranger. Please, tell me what is the reason? Why are you behaving like that?”
Aayat tried to explain, “Tahir your real problem is that neither you are understanding yourself nor understanding me. If for a moment I believe that you know about me then you don`t want to understand it intentionally. You are only thinking about yourself. You don`t care about anybody else.”
“I only know one thing that I love you. I want you to be mine,” he accepted.
She asked, “Without thinking what the other person thinks about you, what are my emotions, what are my circumstances, I love you or not; you want to conquer me.”
Tahir said emotionally, “I know you love me. You tried to sacrifice your life for me. Only a passionate (aashiq) can do it.”
She said, “So, you have supposed that I love you.”
He asked, “What else can I understand?”
“I have told you on which standard of passion (ishq) I`m standing but __________,” she was trying to say something but he interrupted her quickly and said, “What about my passion (ishq)? It has no importance.”
Aayat smiled and said, “Usually it is said that when a woman loves somebody she sacrifices everything for him. But this is a triviality. This is a triviality about woman clan. My thinking starts beyond that concept. My thinking starts from humanity where there is no man or woman.”
Tahir inquired, “What do you want to say?”
She said, “I want to make you understand something. Please, listen to me carefully. There was a time when my passion (ishq) was limited. I thought that only one person was the limit of my passion (ishq). When I understood passion (ishq), I realised that love for one person is just like loving the whole universe. That`s why I put my life in danger for you.”
He said, “You want to say my passion (ishq) is limited.”
“One liner of passion is that the persons you are involved in it they reach at its peak. If you want to understand my passion (ishq), you have to pass through the valley of passion. If you go through it, you will understand it`s reality,” Aayat explained.
“Is it a lesson for me?” asked Tahir.
“If you claim to be a passionate (aashiq) and you want to reach the perfectness of passion (ishq) then it is necessary for you. If you don`t sacrifice then there is no use of passion (ishq),” she explained.
Tahir said, “I love you. I know you. You are sitting in front of me. My destination is in front of me.”
Aayat interrupted him, “I am not your destination. You have to complete yourself.”
Tahir asked, “You want to test may love. What should I have to do for it?”
“Do you think by achieving me your passion will be completed?” she asked.
He said, “I want you. If you want to test my love, go ahead. I`m ready.”
She asked calmly, “You claimed to be passionate (aashiq). Do you want to prove it? Will you do whatever I say?”
He said with a strong inclination, “Yes!”
She said, “Marry Rabia.”
He looked at her with surprised as she had demanded anything which was impossible. He was stunned. As he came out of that brief comma he shouted, “What are you saying? I don`t like that kind of jokes.”
She said seriously, “I`m not joking.”
He said, “You are joking.”
She said, “Tahir, I`m saying it seriously and consciously.”
Tahir looked at her in surprise and asked, “What are you saying?”
“I`m saying the same thing about which once you asked.”
“What did I ask?” he inquired curiously.
“Can two passions combine at one point?” said Aayat, “and I told you that when you would become passionate then I would tell you.”
“Yes, I remember,” he answered.
“Now, you claim to be a passionate. Let`s combine on one passion (ishq). Sarmad is my passion (ishq). You must love Sarmad,” her face turned red while saying that.
“Is it a test?” Tahir asked.
“No, I`m showing you the way of passion. If you can go through it then go ahead or go back to your world,” she said calmly.
Tahir asked, “Will you wait for me?”
Aayat answered, “I have no need to wait for you. You have to reach to the status of passion (ishq) on which I`m standing. You have to reach there. The delay can be from your side not mine. When you will reach that standard, I shall be yours.”
“What kind of test is it?” asked Tahir.
“Think before deciding about it. There are immense problems in the way of love. Even now you can go back to your world. The time is in your hand now,” she explained.
Tahir said, “I shall think.”
She stood up and went out of the room. She was feeling relieved.
Tahir was thinking why did he not directly contacted Syed Zeeshan Rasool Bukhari. Aayat had become a test for him. He was anxious to take decision in that regard but he did not know what to do. He understood that the ways of passion had many difficulties. He couldn`t understand why he was away from his beloved despite she was in front of him. He wanted the end of all the confusions. There was a war in himself. He wanted to end that war. It doesn`t matter who win or lose, it is sure that the war causes destruction. He knew about his sincerity. He kept on thinking continuously tried to contact Shah Sab. In the end he contacted him. Shah Sab called him that afternoon. He reached Shah Sab`s home and waited for few minutes. The servant asked him to go in. He greeted Shah Sab and sat in a sofa. They talked about election and current political situation. Then Shah Sab asked his purpose to come.
Tahir said, “I need your guidance in a matter.”
Shah Sab asked him to tell his problem. Tahir asked, “What is the demand of passion (ishq)? Why does it become the centre of personality?”
“You and I are humans. Our recognition is our qualities. So, when we are discussing about human behaviour we must consider his actions instead of personality. He must understand quality because our recognition is with quality. What is quality?” Shah Sab explained and looked at him.
Tahir answered, “Any ability!”
“Let quality is a positive word and there are hundreds of qualities is passion (ishq). The person who has positive qualities, he is grooming himself as a great human. The journey from a common man to a great man needs a power. That power is passion (ishq),” Shah Sab said calmly.
“A man is sincere, passionate (aashiq) and ready to go through the journey of passion (ishq) why there is always a fear of separation? Why do a passionate (aashiq) thinks his beloved will leave him?” Tahir asked.
“There are two kinds of love: love and chronic love. If there is chronic love then it doesn`t matter either your beloved is with you or not. We have no ability to touch Allah All Mighty but we love Him a lot. The fear in love is understandable. A lover is always afraid of his beloved anger. This fear allows him to try his best to be faithful. The fear in love increases the strength of love,” Shah Sab explained.
Tahir asked, “How do we know about passion (ishq)?”
“We can judge the personality by qualities. If all the qualities and abilities are positive, there sum is called passion (ishq). So, we can say passion (ishq) emerges from the qualities. If passion (ishq) isn`t visible in qualities then it is not passion (ishq). It is something else,” Shah Sab answered.
Tahir asked, “How can I know that I`m a passionate? On which standard of it I`m standing?”
“We need mirror to see ourselves. Passion (ishq) starts from us and we can find the infinite powers in ourselves. Passion (ishq) starts when a man tries to sacrifice his life for others. The reality of passion (ishq) lies in real life. So, a passionate (aashiq) has to leave fake or unreal life. If he will not leave that fake life, he can`t find the reality of passion (ishq). It emerges from the qualities and the sum of qualities is called character. Our character makes it possible to understand everything,” Shah looked at him and said.
Tahir asked, “Why is it compulsory to use mirror? Does it not show a limited approach?”
“Passion is infinite. For example, if you understand a quality in yourself you will combine with another human even you will combine with the universe. The universe is limitless and it makes the passion (ishq) infinite. We see ourselves in the mirror of other humans. We try to judge ourselves in the mirror of universe. Loving ourselves is narcissism. Loving ourselves is a disease. It takes us to our drawbacks,” Shah Sab explained.
Tahir thanked Shah Sab and said calmly that he could easily decide now. Shah Sab prayed for him, “May Allah bring easiness in your life!”
Tahir requested to allow him to leave, greeted Shah Sab and left the room.
It was blowing hard. The clouds were floating on the sky. Hide and seek between the Sun and clouds was going on. It was lunch break in Aayat`s office. She was looking out through a window of her office. Her thinking was dominated by Tahir`s behaviour. She knew his reaction. That was a delicate situation. Many questions were going to arise. He might argue with her but she was calm. She was thinking how to deal that delicate situation. Office boy was arranging lunch on the table. Intercom rang and she was told that Tahir was there. She walked towards the sofa. In a moment Tahir was in front of her. He was looking fresh and energetic. A natural smile was beautifying his face. He sat in a sofa in front of her. Aayat liked his attitude. A ray of love emerged from her conscience. He kept his silence till office boy finished his work. Aayat knew that there was something important that`s why he had come to her. She invited him to take lunch. He started eating without saying a single word. They didn`t talk during lunch. They were taking tea after lunch when Tahir broke the silence, “I have thought on your proposal. I have no objection to do so but I want some explanation from you.”
Aayat allowed him to say whatever he want.
“I must have proved myself a passionate (aashiq) by sticking on my passion (ishq). If I accept your proposal then I am proving myself a fake passionate (aashiq) because I shall leave you and inclined towards Rabia. It is possible that you will say in future that I didn`t leave you, you were inclined towards her,” he tried to explain.
Aayat said calmly, “I`m not demanding anything from you. I`m asking you to leap in the next standard of passion (ishq).”
He asked sarcastically, “I accept all your argument. But can you please explain on which ground you are saying that marrying Rabia is the next standard of passion (ishq)?”
She smiled and said, “Passion (ishq) without sacrifice is just lust. I have no objection on your claim of passion (ishq) but you have to sacrifice your most loved one to prove it. If you love me more than anything in your life, sacrifice your love for me. If you can sacrifice, I shall believe that you love me. You can`t create evolution in passion (ishq) without sacrifice. Passion (ishq) isn`t proved without sacrifice. Only claim isn`t enough. Claim without sacrifice is considered fake.”
“That sacrifice will make our union almost impossible,” Tahir said aberrantly.
She answered in a lively way, “The sacrifice has made the stories of love immortal. If your passion is true, nature will unite us. Nature will create such circumstances which will make our union possible. It is impossible if we plough the land, sow the seed sincerely but it doesn`t rain or crop doesn`t grow. You are thinking about the sacrifice but not trying to understand its aim.”
“What is the aim?_________” Tahir tried to say but Aayat interrupted him, “You have to sacrifice your lust. Real passion (ishq) can`t be achieved without scarifying lust. I think the opposite of passion (ishq) is shirk (polytheism),” she seemed very emotional while saying that. Her face turned red.
Tahir asked, “What are you saying?”
“Obeying your lust is shirk. Antonym of passion is shirk (polytheism). Hatred is a very small word for it. The connotation of a verse in the Holy Quran is, “Muhammed (PBUH)! Didn`t you see the man who had made his self-esteem his god. Allah led him astray despite his knowledge. Allah sealed his ears, eyes and heart. Who can guide him except Allah? Do you not obey the righteous advice?” said Aayat.
He said quickly, “You are bringing religion in our argument.”
She said, “Are we separate from religion? Religion teaches us how to live.”
He said, “Ok, I accept your argument but _______________.”
She asked, “But?”
“You will be in front of me. You will stand with me. In your words we shall be on the same standard of passion (ishq) then what is the purpose of this sacrifice?” he asked.
“Do we need another person to be a polytheist?” she asked. His answer was no.
“If a person is alone in this world, it doesn`t mean that he can`t be a polytheist. Worshipping your self-esteem is polytheism. The thing that you are naming as passion (ishq) is hatred. You have to slaughter your self-esteem to terminate that hatred. Self-esteem has to be sacrificed to bring out the reality of passion (ishq),” she said.
Tahir said quickly and surprisingly, “Do you think, I hate you?”
She tried to make him understand, “Love is worship. Pretence is polytheism. The people how are a prey of dissimulation can`t be true worshippers. Their worshipping is fake. Loving your self-esteem isn`t love it is the worst kind of hatred. Actually the person who loves his self-esteem, he hates himself. If a person is worshipping for his self-esteem secretly even then his worshipping is dissimulation.”
“I loved you, what is dissimulation in it?” he asked.
“But I don`t love you. If I were in love then it was entirely a different case. I might have to say a different thing,” she smiled.
He said seriously, “I want to listen what might have you said?”
She remained silent for few moment as she was trying to gather her thoughts then said, “You love me because of any of my qualities like beauty, behaviour or anything else. If you meet a girl who is more beautiful than me or her behaviour is better than me, will you start loving her?”
He scowled, “What are you talking about?”
“Suppose you came across such girl. You will start loving her. There are many examples when people infatuate in search of better options. There must be a criterion to judge your love. I must be sure that you will not leave me,” she smiled.
Tahir told her that he couldn`t understand what she wanted to say.
“You love me or my abilities. If you are passionate about me then you will remain mine forever. Your passion (ishq) will prove that you are uncaring about beauty,”
Tahir was stunned to hear that and said in a subdued tone,
“Are you mentioning about the colourlessness of passion (ishq).” Aayat`s answer was positive. Tahir said enthusiastically, “Time will decide how I was impressed by you? Time will decide or you will tell how my passion (ishq) was?”
I`m ready to marry Rabia. He drank the cold tea in front of him in one sip. A sacred luminosity emerged on Aayat`s face. He put the tea cup on the table, smiled at Aayat and said while standing, “I am going now. Just call me and I shall be there. Goodbye!”
“Goodbye!” Aayat said. Aayat saw him going out of her office.
To be continue ………